The following quotes are reported to come from an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey":
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. --Age 8
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. --Age 10
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. --Age 6
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. --Age 7
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --Age 15
The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" --Age 15
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. --Age 15
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15
Who can argue with that last statement? But it raises an interesting question. If you knew (with full certainty) that this would be your last day on this earth, how would you live it? Would you spend the day in Bible study and prayer? Talking with people about Christ? Relaxing with your family? Or would you spend it washing clothes, cleaning the house, going to work and doing all the "mundane" things that you do every day?
We are told to "watch" at all times, knowing that the second coming of Christ will be as unexpected as a "thief in the night" (I Thess 5:1-6). It could be within the next few hours! And since none of us are promised a certain number of years, this may well be our last day of life on this earth. So how should that affect the way we live?
If we really believed that, it would cause us to rearrange our priorities. It would cause us to ask ourselves, "Is what I am doing important from an eternal viewpoint?" Mundane tasks such as washing our clothes remain necessary, but we all find ourselves spending much of our time doing things that seem to be important at the moment (from an earthly perspective), but which have no eternal significance.
"Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober......For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him. Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing." (1 Thess. 5:6,9-11)
Source:
http://www.tftd-online.com/content.asp?CID=14479
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