Monday, April 14, 2014

911 Operator

    A couple of Alabama hunters are out int he wood when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
    The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
    The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
    There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
    The guy's voice come back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"

Source:
Unknown

A Father's Love

    Phil Littleford took his son on an Alaskan fishing trip with two other men. In a quest to find some running salmon, they flew their seaplane to a secluded bay. The fishing was every thing they had dreamed. When they finished for the day, their plane was on dry ground. The fluctuating tide left their plane twenty-three feet from the water so they cooked some of their fish for dinner and slept in the plane.
    When they awoke, the tide had come in and their plane was drifting in the water. They cranked the engine and took off. Unknown to them, one of the pontoons had been punctured and was filled with water. The extra weight caused the seaplane to crash within moments. Everyone survived, but they had no safety equipment on board. They used their waders as floating devices but the frigid water was a deadly threat. The current was too strong for Dr. Littleford’s twelve-year-old son to swim against. The other two men fought their way against the tide and barely made it to shore. The two survivors looked back from shore to see Dr. Littleford and his son Mark being swept out to sea, arm-in-arm.
    The Coast Guard reported that they probably lasted no more than an hour in the freezing waters. The hypothermia would chill the body functions and put them to sleep. Mark, with a smaller body mass would fall asleep first and die in his father’s arms. Dr. Littleford could have made it to shore, but that would have meant abandoning his son. He chose to die with his boy.—Patrick Morely, The Man in the Mirror
    “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him”—Psalm 103:13

Source:
House To House, http://www.housetohouse.com/HTHPubPage.aspx?cid=13321

Bad News

Gay Campbell, director of communications of the Everett School District in Washington state, commenting on an effort to pass school levies at the National School of Public Relations, said, "Parents are some of the worst enemies we have."

Source:
Firm Foundation (date unknown)

The Brevity of Life

    The court jester was overcome with grief. His world was at an end!
    For a long time he had served the Caliph at Baghdad and his court, keeping them amused whenever they called upon him. But in a moment of thoughtlessness he had displeased his ruler who had ordered that he be put to death.
    "However," said the Caliph, "in consideration o the merry jests you've told me all these years, I will let you choose ho you are to die."
    "O most generous Caliph," replied the jester, "if it's all the same to you, I choose death by old age."

Source:
Unknown.

Church Conflict

By Mike Benson (editor)

    Greek mythology tells of Cadmus who, while searching for his sister, came upon a dragon blocking his travel. Cadmus fought and killed the fierce dragon. He then extracted the teeth of the savage beast and buried them in a field.
    The next time he traveled that way, he was surprised to discover every tooth had become an armed giant. It seemed impossible that he could pass through their midst. How could he overcome them?
    He thought of a scheme. While hiding behind a tree, he threw a stone, hitting one of the giants. The giant, thinking another of the giants had struck him, hit back in return. The other giants began to take sides and quarrel. Their fighting escalated and soon involved their weapons. Finally, all were wounded. Then Cadmus was able to pass.

    THOUGHT: When we allow Satan to sow seeds of discord and disunity in the church, we will end up fighting one another.

Source:
KneEmail, date unknown

Disguised "Delegates"

By Marlin Connelly

In December 1983, the New York Times reported that a man who posed as a medical doctor for a decade before being caught and convicted had received some commendations from the Army and had been hired by the National Institute of Health as a medial fellow. The native of Ghana had used at least three sets of fake credentials to carry out his deception. His odyssey of deceit came to an end when his mistakes in an operating room left a patient with irreparable brain damage, causing him to remain in a persistent vegetative state fore the rest of his life.

Source:
'Know Your Bible," Gospel Advocate, April 2002, p. 11.

Funeral

Charles Bancroft Dillingham, theatrical manager and producer, while carrying the coffin of Harry Houdini, said, "I bet you a hundred bucks he ain't in here."

Source:
Firm Foundation, Feb. 2002.


God Can Handle Today - and Tomorrow

    In May 1995, Randy Reid, a 34-year-old construction worker, was welding on top of a nearly completed water tower outside Chicago. According to writer Melissa Ramsdell, Reid unhooked his safety gear to reach for some pipes when a metal cage slipped and bumped the scaffolding he stood on. The scaffolding tipped, and Reid lost his balance. He fell 110 feet, landing face down on a pile of dirt, just missing rocks and construction debris. A fellow worker called 911. When paramedics arrived, they found Reid conscious, moving, and complaining of a sore back. Apparently the fall didn't cost Reid his sense of humor. As paramedics carried him on a backboard to the ambulance, he requested: Don't drop me. (Reid came away from the accident with just a bruised lung.) Sometimes we resemble that construction worker. God protects us from harm in a 110-foot fall, but we're still nervous about three-foot heights. The God who saves us from hell and death can protect us from the smaller dangers we face this week.
    He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? - Romans 8:32
Source:
House To House, http://www.housetohouse.com/HTHPubPage.aspx?pub=3&issue=210&article=2590

Have A Drink

    More than 128 Kenyans are dead and almost 400 are in hospitals, many suffering from blindness, after drinking an illegal home-brew known as "kill me quick."
    Drinkers have been falling dead on the streets of Nairobi's slum areas since last Tuesday when a lethal batch of chang'aa came on the market. It was laced with methanol, a type of alcohol used in anti-freeze or as a car-fuel.
    Nairobi's main hospital has been inundated with victims; some arriving in a coma while others writhe in pain after losing their sight. One man reportedly died at the hospital door after stepping out of a taxi. The driver then stole his shoes to cover the fare.

Source:
Firm Foundation, date unknown.


How To Have A Winning Day

Listen more than you talk.
Give more than you get.
Smile more than you frown.
Think "we" more than "me."
Agree more than you disagree.
Compliment more than you criticize.
Laugh more than you cry.
Clean up more than you mess up
Be positive more than you're negative.
Be fascinated more than you're frustrated.
"Walk the walk" more than you "talk the talk."
Be more accepting than rejecting.
See the cup "half full" more than seeing it "half empty."
Help more than you hinder.
Believe in yourself more than doubt yourself.
Work more than you whine.
Do more than you don't.
Act more than you react.
Same more than you squander.

Source:
The Encourager, the weekly bulletin of the Calvert City Church of Christ, Calvert City, KY, Feb. 10, 2002, p. 3.

I Have Done My Duty

While standing on the poop deck of his ship, amid the heat and fire of severe combat, Admiral Horatio Nelson, a great British naval hero, received his mortal wound. Afterward he lay in his stateroom and was informed that the battle was certain in favor of his country's flag. After hearing this assurance, he breathed out his spirit with these words: "Thank God! I have done my duty."

Source: 
John Kackelman, Nahum, p. 7.

I'm On Your Side

    A man dressed in a devil outfit, was on his way to a Halloween costume party when suddenly he got caught in a big rain storm!
    Searching for cover from the downpour, the man rushed headlong into the first building he came to. As it turned out, he had unwittingly turned in the auditorium of a church building during the worship assembly.
    When the church members saw who they thought was the devil, they all panicked. And all scrambled out of the room, except for one unfortunate lady who found herself pinned under the feet of this confused fellow. Fearing for her welfare, she looked up int this devilish face and said, "You know, I've been on your side all along!"
    While I enjoy a good laugh, may I suggest that there is a more serious side to this story. You see, it is possible for me to claim allegiance to the Lord, when in reality, I am a covert disciple of "the wicked one."

Source:
KneEmail, #127 (date unknown)

It Is Appointed

The French Riviera town of Le Lavandou has banned death. Anyone who doesn't have a reserved burial plot is now forbidden from dying within the city limits.

Source:
Firm Foundation (date unknown)

The Miser

    There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money?  He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife." And so he made his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. 
     As it does for all of us, the day came when he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black with one of her friends sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. 
     Her friend said, "Girl I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in the casket." "Listen," she said, "a promise is a promise, and I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him, and I did." 
     "You mean to tell me you put all of his money in the casket with him?" 
     "I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check." 

Source:
Footprints in Time, Thomas E. Broadbent, editor, October 2004, p. 4.


Now

If you have hard work to do,
Do it now.
Today the skies are clear and blue,
Tomorrow clouds may come in view,
Yesterday is not for you;
Do it now.

If you have a song to sing,
Sing it now.
Let the tone of gladness ring
Clear as a song of birds in Spring
Let each day some music bring;
Sing it now

If you have kind words to say,
Say them now.
Tomorrow may not come your way,
Do a kindness, while you may
Loved ones would not always stay;
Say them now.

If you have a smile to show,
Show it now.
Make hearts happy, roses grow,
Let the friends around you know
The love you have before they go;
Show it now.

Source:
The Encourager, the weekly bulletin of the Calvert City Church of Christ, Calvert City, KY, Feb. 10, 2002, p. 2. 


Quote From "Ethics For the Workplace"

"God readily forgives repentant sinners. Few humans do. Shakespeare said it correctly in Julius Caesar. "The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones."

Source:
David Spradlin, Ethics For the Workplace, Gospel Advocate, July 2001, p. 27.


Safe Rooms for the Rich

    For anywhere from $25,000 to a couple of million dollars you can have your very own safe room strong enough to withstand an attack by a small rocket or a big storm.
    The rooms can be bare, safe-like structures designed for one person, or large, living room-sized shelters lavishly equipped with all sorts of amenities, depending on how much you want to spend.
    Built of concrete and steel, some come with wired and wireless communication systems, a variety of alarms and even closed circuit TV monitors which scan the areas outside the rooms, according to theInternational Herald Tribune.
    Because of their cost, only the very rich are likely to buy safe rooms. And safe rooms are anything but status symbols. owners don't brag about them or show them to their friends - for security reasons, having one is a very hush-hush matter. "Thus, a casual guest, or even a good friend, would probably never know that behind that built-in bookcase or bedroom mirror lies a bulletproof cell" (NewsMax, Apr. 26, 2002).
    The "safe room," parenthetical, does not protect form the grim reaper, for "it is appointed unto man once to die" and it does not protect form the lake that burns with fire and brimstone in which all will be case who do not have their names written in the book of life. The only "safe room" is at the foot of the cross. It is nice to be rich, but silver and gold cannot bur a tome in heaven.

Source:
Firm Foundation, July 2002, 29-30.